That's a lot of baggage

When I was little, I remember asking my mom for a piece of gum and her reply would be, "Okay, there's some in my purse. You can get a piece." So I walk over and grab her purse, unzip the top, crack it open a little, reach inside and start digging. And digging. I needed to navigate around the bulging wallet, the large, flat check book, receipts of all kinds, lipstick tubes, other make-up items like eye shadow or lip liner; keys, pens, and then loose change, and finally, a package of gum. All within the tight walls of the purse. I'm thinking the whole time, "Where in the world is it? Gum, I just want gum! There's everything but gum!"

Everything but the kitchen sink, I would often hear.

Now I've gotten older and have my own collection of "purses." Growing up, I never wanted to carry a purse because it was something that a girl "just does." I never wanted to fall into that mold and wondered why women always had these large purses that seem to grow as women get older, while men had a wallet and keys in their pockets. Despite this, I do carry a bag with me a lot of the time while guys still walk around carrying all necessities in his pockets. I was persuaded to start carrying one when I "became a woman" and needed the certain feminine products to care for it. And a purse allowed those things to be carried discreetly.

Although purses can be useful because they carry useful items when one it out of the house, like a lipstick touch-up or Aspirin to kill a headache, they seem to symbolize sexism. A bag shows that a woman is tied down, she is loaded and must carry things that she might be able to use, or things that provide for other people, especially children. Like my purse experience, women usually begin carrying them regularly when they start their menstrual periods so that feminine products can be carried incognito. The commencement of the menstrual cycle signifies when a woman is physically ready to bear children. The purse is a visible signal when a woman is prime for the choosing of the mate. Then, through time, the purse grows from slightly larger than an ultra-thin maxi pad to a bulging bowling bag size to accommodate those responsibilities that she must care for, namely, children. It would almost be convenient if the kitchen sink could fit in. That way, a woman could be a totally transportable and accommodating house and its care-giver.

One "Seinfeld" episode addresses the issue of women and purses. In this episode, Jerry decides that a bag - the European "Carry-All," is more convenient to carry than using only pockets. There are many advantages to the bag, Jerry proclaims throughout the episode. However, despite his effort to convince them, his friends would tease him and insist that the Carry-All is a purse, insinuating that only women should carry purses and Jerry should not effeminate himself with it. In the end, Jerry admits that the Carry-All is a purse and gives up carrying it. Carrying a purse, as the show illustrates, is strictly feminine, and if a man should carry one, it threatens his masculinity and independence that comes with being manly. Women cannot be truly free from all ties and be herself, as men are encouraged, because she is obligated to the things she carries in her purse.

These days, after the introduction of the DivaCup (TM), a re-usable silicone feminine product that uses gravity instead of cotton, the purpose of a purse has been cut down. This product not only saves the should-ache of a purse, it is also environmentally-friendly while also reducing health risks of toxic shock syndrome, cutting the costs of personal hygiene and saving landfills of embarrassingly bloody trash. Welcome, freedom. All that baggage can be thrown away or re-used for groceries. Unless, of course, one should suffer an identity crisis of being without such trendy, silk-screened canvas bags, or has an emergency mascara crisis, or, perhaps, the lady insists on also carrying her pooch in a pouch.